Raped at 8 Months Pregnant: A Story of Forgiveness & Redemption

July 31st, 1999. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was 8 months pregnant & it was about 1 a.m.
My mother was sleeping in the next room. The man that I thought I was in love with came over after a night of drinking.

I felt that something was about to happen, but I didn't know what. Then I found out. He wanted me to do things I was not willing to do & I would not comply.

And so he raped me.

So many things went through my head at the time. Should I scream? If I fought him would he hurt my baby? Would he get angry & never come back if I resisted? 

He knew that he was hurting me, but he would not stop. He didn't care. I couldn't risk the chance of losing my baby. So I kept quiet & just waited until it was over.

He went to sleep right away - as though nothing had ever happened. But I was left feeling confused, used & dirty. I didn't get much sleep that night.

The next time he came back & I said "no", he came so angry & violent that I feared for the life of my unborn child. I learned to stop resisting & just let him do whatever he wanted.

It was as though I wasn't human, like I only existed for him to have his needs met.  I felt like I was nothing. He owned me & there was no way to escape. I was trapped.

Before I met him, I had attempted to commit suicide on several occasions. I had zero self esteem & felt that not even God could love me. So I looked to men for the affection that I so desperately needed.

He made it clear from the beginning that he had no feelings for me, but I held on in hopes that he would change his mind. He never did.

After my baby was born, I found out that he had been cheating on me. I started self harming again & thoughts of suicide returned. But there was no way I was going to leave my baby alone in this world, so I went to see a psychiatrist & was put on medication. But I wasn't getting any better.

One day, 2 ladies came knocking at my door to talk about the Bible. Ordinarily, I would never open the door for them, but I figured I would hear them out since I had nothing to lose.

Those women told me about God, studied with me & gave me a Bible of my own. I learned that God loved me, & that I was valuable & created for a purpose. I wasn't placed on this earth just to suffer. The void had been filled.

I became a new person. I stopped self-harming, thoughts of suicide vanished & I finally had peace.

I saw that I didn't have to turn to men for love & acceptance. I was accepted by God & I didn't have to debase myself. I've been celibate for almost 12 years now & have been using this time to heal & to get to know God & myself better. And in His timing, He will send me someone to marry who will love me as Christ does & will appreciate my value.

As for the young man, he ran off with one of his women. I had to learn to forgive him for all he had done since God so freely forgave me for my sins. I tried to bring Him to Christ so that he would have the peace that I now had, but he was willing. It's my prayer that one day, he will come to know Him. 


  
 

InstaNatural's Dead Sea Mud Mask

This mask is an all natural detoxifier & purifier that comes from the renowned & sacred Dead Sea.

The Dead Sea is an extraordinary body of water that contains many minerals that are beneficial to the skin.

The mask absorbs excess oil, dirt & toxins from the skin & helps to restore an even skin tone.

When used as a body treatment, the mud mask can soothe & relieve muscle aches & pains.

I have been using this mask almost daily to help with the constant itching & burning of my psoriasis.

When I apply it, the burning stops immediately & my skin doesn't itch nearly as much as it did before.

This mask is awesome & highly recommended for anyone dealing with skin ailments.

                                       I received this item in exchange for an honest & unbiased review.

InstaNatural's Deep Cleansing Facial Oil

Product description: InstaNatural's  Deep Cleansing Facial Oil contains the perfect blend of ingredients that melt away dirt, impurities & makeup without stripping the skin of its natural oils. This energizing blend of oils will gently clean your pores & remove dead skin cells, leaving your skin smooth & nourished.
 
It's not very often that a product impresses me. But I am thoroughly enamored with InstaNatural's Deep Cleansing Oil. The morning after I applied this oil to my face, I thought to myself, "who is this foxy creature looking back at me in the mirror?" It was as though I got a whole new face overnight! I almost didn't recognize myself. My face appeared years younger & the brown spots under my eyes were much less noticeable. My skin felt as smooth as silk. This skin & pore purifier has a lovely, rose-like aroma & is a combination of several age defying ingredients, including Sea Buckthorn oil which gets to the deep layers of the skin. It does a wonderful job of removing dirt, makeup & impurities. 
I have tried many skin care products, but this is my favorite by far & I intend to use it from now on. If you decide to try it for yourself, I'm sure you won't be disappointed.
I received one or more of the products mentioned above for free using Tomoson.com. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers.

               Kiss Me Organics Matcha Green Tea Powder  

 

 

 



 Product Description: Our 100% Organic Matcha is free from chemicals & preservatives. It's an energy booster, calorie burner & contains anti-aging properties. Evidence shows that EGCG, a strong Matcha antioxidant, can generate new brain cells by focusing on the part of the brain that deals with short & long term memory. Matcha green tea powder also increases focus, improves skin health & contains 137x the antioxidants of brewed green tea.

 

I'm new to Matcha green tea & wasn't sure what to expect. But after I tried it, I was delighted. This powder does indeed give a boost of energy & helped me to feel awake & alert without the "caffeine jitters". On days when I'm feeling a bit uneasy, a cup of Matcha makes me feel serene & relaxed. It's a  wonderful calming agent for those who suffer from anxiety. There are many ways to use Matcha, but I enjoyed mine with a cup of boiled water & some sugar.

 

 

 

The benefits of green tea powder exceed that of brewed green tea since the whole leaf is ingested & not just brewed water. It detoxifies & contains vitamins & minerals as well as amino acids. Matcha is rich in fiber, fights fat & cancer, aids in diabetes & promotes gastrointestinal health. The antioxidants in green tea promote skin health, so I thought, why not make a face mask with it since I love making masks out of everything?  

 

 

 

A mixture of about 1 tsp. of green tea powder, an egg to firm the skin & a little olive oil for moisturizer worked wonders for my appearance. My skin loved it & my face appeared brighter & smoother.

 

 

           My daughter wearing my homemade face mask & enjoying a cup of green tea. 

 

I'm hooked on this tea. Not only is it super healthy, it's also delicious. If you'd like to try Organic  Matcha Green Tea for yourself, check out it out at Amazon.com

 

I received one or more of the products mentioned above for free using Tomoson.com. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers.

                 Valentia Even Glow Serum

Product Description: Organic Rosehip Seed Oil & Sea Buckthorn Oil work simultaneously to increase skin hydration & lock in moisture. Each oil's superior antioxidant content further promotes healing of damaged skin to produce a more even glow & more beautiful youthful looking skin.

• Resistem - Natural plant stem cell protects skin from stress related aging. Encourages a natural glow while promoting skin detoxification. 
• Hyaluronic Acid - Helps to repair the skin's ability to retain moisture & increase elasticity & firmness. 
• Green Tea Extract - The catechins in green tea are a potent antioxidant which contribute to the overall anti- inflammatory & anti - irritant benefits of this ancient health & beauty serum.

This serum has a lovely citrus scent which is much different from the other serums that I have tried. It feels a bit sticky at first, but then dries & absorbs fairly quickly. Valentia serum helped to brighten my dull skin & it made my arms & legs super soft. It is alcohol free which is great because alcohol dries the skin, & it contains 98% natural ingredients. The ingredient that impresses me most is Hyaluronic Acid which pulls moisture from the environment & onto the surface of the skin. The antioxidants in Even Glow serum may take up to 4 weeks to completely soak into the skin & remove the toxins that cause dullness, dryness & discoloration. I'm looking forward to finding out what other ways this serum will improve my skin with continued use.      

 

 

                       Life & Food Garcinia Cambogia

Product Description: Garcinia Cambogia Supreme (with 80% HCA) is a natural preservative free weight loss supplement extracted from genuine Indian Garcinia Cambogia fruit rind. It is shown to help reduce body fat & suppress appetite while safely raising "feel good" serotonin levels. 

Other Ingredients: Calcium Carbonate, Potassium Chloride, Chromium, Vegetable Cellulose

Contains No: Artificial ingredients, Soy, Wheat, Shellfish, Peanuts, Dairy

        These capsules are big, but not so large that I had difficulty swallowing them. They smell kind of sweet which is great because I can't stand pills that smell bad. The suggested use is 2 capsules a day as a dietary supplement & 4 per day for maximum strength. I only took 1 pill for a few days & did not experience any hunger pains. On the day that I took 2 pills, I had to force myself to eat, so they do indeed suppress the appetite. If you choose to take the maximum dose, you should have no problems losing weight. Since I'm relatively happy with my size, I was most interested in trying this product to see if  it would ease my bouts of depression & anxiety. I am thrilled to say that I have not had any melancholy feelings while taking these capsules. I will be using this product from now on. I have tried several natural alternatives to manage my depression & nothing seemed to work. I believe I've finally found relief in Garcinia Cambogia.  

Check out their website here. I received one or more of the products mentioned above for free using Tomoson.com. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers.

                  DIATOMACEOUS EARTH

    When we first saw Diatomaceous Earth at the flea market, I told my mother not to buy it. I had tried everything I could to get rid of the fleas on my dogs & nothing worked, so she figured she would give this a shot. I just thought she was wasting money. When we got home, I put some on my dogs, but I didn't notice much difference. The fleas avoided the powder, but it didn't kill them. The little leaflet that came with it stated that Diatomaceous Earth could be taken internally for a variety of health benefits. I was a little nervous about that because since it was being sold as a bug killer, wouldn't it kill me too? After a few hours of research, I decided to give it a try (after telling my mother & daughter that I loved them in case I didn't make it through the night). Reluctantly, I mixed about a tsp. in some juice & drank it. To my surprise, it didn't taste too bad. The next day, I noticed that my skin had a beautiful glow to it & even better, I was still alive. Ever since then I've been hooked.
   After that batch ran out, about a year later, I decided to order 10 pounds of it because I had no intention of losing my youthful glow. However, for some reason this batch did nothing for my skin. But it did improve my blood pressure. For years, my blood pressure had been borderline was slowly starting to increase & I was terrified because my family has a history of strokes & heart disease. I prayed that God would heal me & this was the answer to my prayers. I have shared Diatomaceous Earth with several family members & they too have noticed a change in their numbers. I no longer take DE everyday for fear that my pressure will drop too low. Something else I noticed about DE is that whenever my dog has diarrhea, a few teaspoons will clear it right up. It also caused my daughters hair to grow quite a bit.
   So what is DE exactly & how might it benefit you? It is a naturally occurring soft silicious sedimentary rock that consists of fossilized remains of diatoms which is a type of hard shelled algae. In plain English, it's healthy stuff that God made. Benefits may include cleaning the bowels, eliminating worms, weight loss, help with osteoporosis & diabetes, improvement in hair skin & nails & much more! If you decide to try this for yourself, make sure that it's FOOD GRADE as there is another type that is used for pool filtration. As with any fine powder, do not inhale.
   To summarize, DE did not kill my dog's fleas, but it did help in other ways. My experience with it may be different from yours. Try it & find out what it can do for you. Be healthy, happy & blessed.

DISCLAIMER: These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA. No statements should be construed as dispensing medical advice. If you have a health condition or concern, consult a physician or your ALTERNATIVE health care provider.